Valentine’s Day can be a tough time for singletons. Hell, Valentine’s Day can be rough for those in relationships.
Like every other holiday, it’s not the greatest day of the year to work in retail, or the restaurant industry, or in hospitality. & I’m certain the Day before, of and after are busy for therapists of all sorts.
So, here’s to us all on the day after!
Love is an essential part of life. It comes, and goes, in many different forms. The most important form of love is self-love & it’s arguably the most elusive kind of love.
Brain & Behavior Research Foundation explains we cannot practice self love if we don’t understand what it is. They define self love as, “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” From that, it’s easy to understand the importance of self love, generally. The hard part is figuring out what self love is, individually.
Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.bbrfoundation.org
Finding your version of self love will take a lot of introspection & reflection. While there’s plenty of advice out there on how to get started, your journey to self love is as unique as you are. While many of our needs and wants will match up with others, we all have our own love language. Identifying your love language is helpful in learning how to love others, but also yourself. Understanding love languages can also help expose your coping mechanisms for loneliness. If your primary love language is Tokens of Affection, self love can look like splurging on yourself, it can quickly turn to hoarding when we overcompensate. While you deserve nice things when you achieve, or small things when you’re sad, moderation is key in all aspects of life.
When you start practicing self love, it may seem odd, especially depending on to what extent you’ve been neglecting yourself. It’s ok to feel weird when changing how you feel about and treat yourself. You’ll come out better on the other side.
We’ve all heard the saying, “you can’t love someone else, if you don’t love yourself first,” and that came be more true. If you don’t practice self love, you risk overcompensating in relationships, which can cause a plethora of problems. Because you cannot control others, you have to start with yourself.
- Start each day by telling yourself something really positive.
- Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive.
- Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in.
- Don’t believe everything you think.
- Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you.
- Stop the comparisons.
- End all toxic relationships.
- Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small.
- Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.
- Embrace and love the things that make you different.
- Realize that beauty cannot be defined.
- Take time out to calm your mind every day.
- Follow your passion.
- Be patient but persistent.
- Be mindful of what you think, feel and want.
- Treat others with love and respect.
- Find something to be grateful for every day.
- Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times.
- Learn to say no.
- Forgive yourself.
- Write it down.
- Turn off and inwards.
- Give up the need for approval from others.
- Be realistic.
- Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like.
- Let go of past trauma and wounds.
- Find your happy place.
- The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments.
- Get in touch with your inner dialogue.
- Have fun!