Autumn is a wonderful time of year. Like spring, it’s a transitional time of year both for the environment and for us. As we prepare for the winter, New England’s weather can go either way.
As someone who’s lived in New Jersey my entire life, I’m all too familiar with these predictably unpredictable weather patterns.
In these last weeks of official summer, I’ve been thinking about everything I’ve done this year, whether I can squeeze in any last minute summer fun & what I can’t wait to do next year.
As a teacher, I have significant free time in summer, even with Extended School Year. As a leo, that makes me ecstatic. As an overly organized procrastinator, I didn’t do everything I wanted to. As a workaholic who still lives with my dad, I’m okay with that. As an avid list maker, you’d think I would be all about a bucket list to use, but the idea of making on is intimidating to me.
Bucket lists these big deal kind of lists & I liked planning vacations and grocery lists. Every time I tried to make a bucket list, they felt small – I felt small. Anxiety would take over & that would be the end of that.
I still feel disappointed that I wasn’t getting to do any big bucket list types of things… All the while scrolling an Instagram feed studded with adventure hashtags.
Social media can really distort reality. You see curated snapshots, which can often be against the big picture. My bucket list won’t be like someone’s else’s because my life isn’t. No one else is in my exact circumstance. No one else has exactly the same fears & desires. No one else is me.
Pictures in my mind on replay;
I’m gonna touch the pain away.
I know how to scream my own name… I’m gonna put my body first. & love me so hard ’til it hurts.I know how to scream out the words… Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else!
My life’s bucket list is on hold until I can get my life back on track. I haven’t been derailed as much as I’ve been delayed.
And that’s ok.
I’ll have this fall & winter, and next spring & summer. I have plenty of years ahead of me to experience life Brittany Style.
I’ve been using the app Daylio to track all the little things that affect my mood on the daily & it’s honestly really helped me.